Tag Archives: Parenting

Having and hitting children a problem for Adrian Peterson

Interesting take on Adrian Peterson by Mitch Albom. Share your thoughts.

http://www.freep.com/story/sports/columnists/mitch-albom/2014/09/18/mitch-albom-adrian-peterson-vikings/15808613/

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What’s so bad about a boy who wants to wear a dress?

Camp Variant allows children to explore all facets of their personalities. If a boy wants to wear a dress it is alright. Read the linked article and share your thoughts.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/magazine/whats-so-bad-about-a-boy-who-wants-to-wear-a-dress.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&hp

Deion Sanders has wife arrested for attacking him, but did he help publicize the incident via Twitter?

Deion Sanders had his wife Pilar arrested for assaulting him. If she did then perhaps an arrest was warranted, but he also tweeted out pictures of him and his sons filling out police reports. It is one thing when a news agency takes a photograph for circulation, but to tweet what has to be a breakdown in your own family seems a little over the top. Read the linked article and share your thoughts.

http://www.ajc.com/sports/atlanta-falcons/deion-sanders-says-wife-1424841.html

First Lady Michelle Obama Champions Healthy Eating

Since coming to the White House in 2009 the First Lady has encouraged Americans to eat in a more healthy way. In this interview for Everydayhealth.com Mrs. Obama shares recipes, tips and confessions. Follow the link and read the story and tell me what you think. http://everydayhealth.com/white-house.aspx

Is the Tiger Mom Wrong?

The past few days I have watched pundits debate the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom by Amy Chua. Chua has been both praised and criticized for the parenting tactics she used on her two children. Some of her rules include the following: (1) schoolwork always comes first; (2) an A-minus is a bad grade; (3) your children must be two years ahead of their classmates in math; (4) you must never compliment your children in public; (5) if your child ever disagrees with a teacher or coach, you must always take the side of the teacher or coach; (6) the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventually win a medal; and (7) that medal must be gold. She also reveals in the book that she has called her children “garbage”, but in spite of this I admire the fact that she refused to heap false praise on her children. As parents so many of us have praised mediocre to the point where children can not even recognize excellence. Tell me what you think about the Tiger Mom’s rules.

We have got to Let Our Children Grow Up

I talk to a lot of my friends who like me grew up in the ‘70s. Our parents worked hard and expected the same from us. My parents did not want us to have part time jobs during the school year because they believed school was our job. We were expected to do well. Our parents did not hover over us asking us what was due and when was it due. We simply did our work and we asked our teachers for help if we needed it. So what happened? Now we have the teacher’s number on our speed dial, we are in constant email contact with teachers regarding our child’s progress or assignments. We call ourselves “involved parents”, but are we too involved? At what point do you make your child responsible for his work? As a parent of teenagers I still have a lot of interaction with my children’s teachers. I think parents should know what’s going on. I remember when my child was in elementary school and had to do her first book report I read the book too. I wanted to assist her but I wound up directing her and one my friends said what are you doing? It was my first wake up call that I was trying to control a process that was not mine to control. But I can’t say I have stopped, but I do at least recognize the signs of being over the line. I also wonder are we so afraid our child might fail that we hover to prevent it? The reality is every human will and must experience failure. There are lessons that have to be learned and sometimes we as parents attempt to shield our children from these lessons. I write this post as my children enter the final marking period for this school year. It has been a scholastically challenging year, but lessons were learned and more will be learned because my children are growing up, and with growth comes responsibility. So I have to step back to let them become the people they are destined to become. So for now I will fold up the parachute.

Practice what You Preach…Your Children Will make You

My son is nearly 16 years old and last night he told me he wanted to take a classmate to the movies. Since he can’t drive he needed me to chauffeur him. I told him to supply me with the details and I would let him know. Since he goes to a racially mixed school I had to ask him the race of the girl. Was this racist of me? No, I was just curious. He told me the girl was Pakistani. We have always taught our children that all people are equal and created by God so I now I am forced to practice what I have been preaching. This is just one of many dates that he will go on over the years so it is really no big deal, but I am happy that although race is a question for me it is not one for him. He just sees people as people and as a mother I endeavor not to put my baggage on his back.

What is “Bullycide”?

While watching CNN today I heard this new term bullycide. It was coined by a writer for the Daily Beast. She said it is bullying someone to the point that they feel the only way out is suicide. This term was used while they were discussing the Phoebe Prince suicide. Prince endured relentless bullying by students at her high school, and now the students face criminal charges regarding their activities, but were they responsible for her death? The school officials have been taking the heat for not doing more to fix an intolerable situation. In this case the girl’s mother said she approached the schools with her concerns on two occasions and they did nothing to resolve the situation, but what should they have done? Have you visited a high school lately? Teachers are no longer the respected oracle of learning they once were. They can simply ask students to do certain things they can’t demand because if they did that they might be interfering with the child’s civil rights. So we have tied their hands, but now we think those same hands should be able to fix this situation. We can sympathize with the family of prince, but we also can only wonder what kind of home life did the child have? She was transplanted from Ireland to the United States. It is very difficult for teenagers to leave their friends when they move across town this girl was forced to move to another country. The move had to have significantly impacted her life. Lastly, did the parents of the bulliers know their children were doing this? When my son was in middle school I had to take and pick him up from designated bus stop. One of the parents asked me if I could also drop her son off after school and I did for months. Later in the school year that parent called me and told me that she had been called to the school because her son had been accused of bullying another child at the bus stop. She said the school was threatening to not allow her child to ride the bus. She as well as I could not believe her child had been accused of doing this. A few weeks later I was talking to another parent and she told me this same kid had actually been bullying my son. When I questioned my son he admitted that this was in fact true. I was stunned because I had been driving a bully around in backseat. The level of bullying was not at all like what Prince encountered, but the point is parents are clueless if children refuse to tell them, and the parents of the bulliers might have actually been blindsided by the accusations. There are a lot of questions that need to be answered and not just sweeping gestures. Indicting the children and blaming the school is not going to bring Prince back, but actually looking at all angles might help prevent future tragedies.

Have Parents Just Given Up?

This post is a departure from politics, but it is an issue that is on my mind. Yesterday I had the opportunity to watch Oprah and I sat there in total disbelief. She had two 14 year old children who sat there declaring their love for each other. That’s not the unbelievable part. The fact that their mothers were sitting there with them and boy’s mother had bought condoms for him for when not if he had sex with his girlfriend. Prior to their appearance another guest a sex therapist was telling mothers how important it is for them to tell their daughters about the joy of self-gratification. Now, I am not sitting here with my head in the sand and thinking if you don’t discuss sex with your children it will not happen, but as a parent I will take a stand and a 14 year old child is not ready for a sexual relationship. This is on par with letting minors drink at home because you know they are going to drink so some parents say they are more comfortable allowing them to drink at home. When did parents relinquish their parental rights? When did the children start running the home? I still believe that parents have to set a standard in the home and continue to instill good values into their children. I concede that children have minds of their own, but I will continue to share what I believe and not simply give up because everyone else has.  

My Mother’s Day Prayer-End the War

Today was a joyous day in my home. I was surrounded by the love of my husband and my two children. I have a 13 year old son who is full of promise and potential. He is old enough to make decisions but still young enough to dream big. I see high school in the near future and college down the line, but what scares me is the war. Today over 4000 of our citizens are dead and there are so many mothers grieving today. When I look at election 2008 one of my biggest concerns is which candidate will be able to bring this conflict to an end. Now we have armed forces full of volunteer recruits. In an effort to get more recruits they are letting people with criminal activity in their past become soldiers. In war time it is harder to recruit so desperate times call for desperate measures. What concerns me as we go into our 6th year of this war is what is going to happen when there are no more volunteers? At some point the draft is going to be taken off the shelf and that I can not fathom. I can not bear the thought of my dear sweet son going to a far away country to fight in a war that never should have been waged. This election season I want a candidate that will offer real solutions to end this conflict. I don’t want to hear that Obama is elite because he does not relish a cheese steak or that McCain is losing his bearings because he is old. We do not have time to continue to wallow in trivia. I want to hear plans and solutions to protect America and spare any other mothers the pain of losing a child and spending Mother’s Day in mourning—that is my prayer.