Did Single Mothers see Coach Sandusky as a Father Figure?


The Penn State story is sad on so many levels. There are many people who are being blamed. The graduate assistant who witnessed an attack and called his father instead of the police, Coach Paterno who called the athletic director when he knew that he was the last word on the campus, and finally the real culprit the alleged sexual predator, Coach Sandusky who selected and groomed boys attending the Second Mile program. Sandusky would “court” the boys by giving them clothing, computers, trips to college games and professional games. As a mother I would have to ask why was this man giving my son all of these gifts, and my husband would also question the generosity of this non-relative generous benefactor, but sadly so many of the mothers of the victims were single mothers and they were in search of a father figure for their children, and Sandusky in their eyes fit the bill as a good role model. Sandusky had his own personal stable at the Second Mile and he had the opportunity to not only prey on the vulnerability of the child, but also on the mothers. Where are the fathers? Too often the eleven year old boy is called “mommy’s little man” or the “man of the house”. It is too much responsibility for the small shoulders of a boy to handle, but sadly he is in that role. So when an adult shows a real interest in him he has the opportunity to have fun, and just be a boy he jumps at the chance. He does not have the maturity to truly question motives he just sees light at the end of his prematurely adult shadowed world. This is fertile ground for a predator. So the child is eager and the mother is too. Don’t get me wrong this is not an indictment of the victim. I applaud the single mothers doing what they need to do to raise their children, but I wonder after the fathers read the accounts of what happened to their sons do they not only get angry at the predator, but do they flip the mirror and get mad at their selves.

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Comments

  • lala  On November 11, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    And this is the horror of it, these are moms just trying to do something for their child and this monster used that.

  • elogam  On November 12, 2011 at 2:22 am

    There are so many places where this could have gone right, and didn’t. I expect to see jail time for Sandusky and some checks written to the victims. The money won’t right the wrongs, but it will nudge the people who replace Paterno, the AD, and the president that they have a responsibility that extends BEYOND that of winning the next football game.

  • kate  On November 13, 2011 at 1:16 am

    Why didn’t any of these boys tell their parent’s or parent what was happening? I have 2 son’s one 28 and one 17 and they have always talked to me about things going on in their lives. Parents need to be more in tune with their kids, know what makes them happy, unhappy, scared, and worried. Spend some time talking to your kids about things that are important to THEM! Ask your kid’s questions, snoop, talk to their friends! If I found out that my kid had been molested and I didn’t see any signs I would feel like a failure as a parent.

  • ThrownAwayDad  On November 14, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    How many of these Single Moms divorced the fathers against the fathers wish and over the fathers objections ? How many of the absent fathers are absent because a family court judge removed them from their family, simply because the other parent wanted a divorce ? The author suggests the Fathers should flip a mirror and look at themselves. Do we dare suggest that the divorcing Mothers might be somewhat to blame for forcing the Father out in the first place ?

    • musesofamom  On November 14, 2011 at 10:11 pm

      When a divorced mom keeps her children away from their father for no good reason she is doing the children a disservice, but sadly too many children do not even know their fathers. That is the group that this post is addressing. Divorce is painful and I symphatize with any father that wants to be a part of their child’s life and they are not granted the opportunity. If that is the case then that mother has to examine herself.

      • ThrownAwayDad  On November 14, 2011 at 11:10 pm

        Maybe I did not make my comment clear enough the first time. Regarding the victims of Sandusky, nobody is brave enough to publicly ask the question; “how many of the victims come from a home where the father has been forcibly removed by a Judge” ? How many of these Fathers put up a valiant effort in the corrupt family courts only to be separated from their children by a Judge ? You claim that “too many children do not even know their fathers”. The reason they don’t know their father is because the mother does not want them to know their father. Can you point to just one Government study, Academic Study or Scientific study that shows Father Absence in America today is due to run-away-dads ? I would suggest Father Absence today in America is rather due to run-amok Judges forcing the fathers out of the family simply because the other parent wants it that way

  • charlie  On November 16, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Here Here, ThrownAwayDad!

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