Why Does Oprah Embrace Bebe Winans, but Reject Chris Brown?
When it was revealed that Chris Brown had beaten his then girlfriend Rihanna Oprah said Rihanna should leave Brown alone. Oprah took a strong stand against domestic abuse. On several occasions Brown has said that he was disappointed at Oprah’s response. He felt she should have reached out to both he and Rihanna, but Oprah chose not to. So why does she continue to embrace Bebe Winans? He allegedly pushed his ex-wife down in front of his pre-teen children. He was arrested the day before Oprah Winfrey spoke out on abuse on her show. So why is BeBe is hosting “Oprah’s Karaoke Challenge”? Is it because we all saw the bruised picture of Rihanna? Is it the lack of visible proof of abuse that makes this different? Is it the fact that Winfrey has been friends with the Winans family for years ? Domestic abuse can not be tolerated even if it does leave a mark. Abuse is abuse. There are no acceptable degrees, and if Winans is found guilty he is an abuser just like Chris Brown.
Tags: Bebe winans, black america, Black women, Chris brown, cogic, Current Events, domestic abuse, Oprah Winfrey, Rihanna, Women
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November 6, 2009 at 12:57 am
Domestic violence is an important issue and the standard for Oprah or anyone should be the same, it is wrong. Our society demands an end to domestic violence (man against women) but I hope that those who rally against men hitting women are also going to take the same stand against women hitting men. I think it’s most rediculious when women say, “oh men can take it because they are stronger than a women.” The last time I checked violence had nothing to do with the strength of the person. If a man hit a woman it is wrong, if a woman hit a man it is wrong PERIOD.
November 6, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I understand that you are a “woman’s” advocate, but unfortunately you are hurting children.
How? Because Domestic violence is seen just as an act against women, when instead it should be an act against families.
In a lot of instances today the violence is being initiated by the woman, but blogs lilke yours perpetuate the myth that only the men are involved.
What about the other women involved and how they are being hurt by denial of visitation, like the grandmother of the father, or the other wife? Are they supposed to stay non-existant?
FAMILY VIOLENCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is not just against women, it is agaisnt the family.
When we remove that stigma that only men committ domestic violence perhaps we can deal with the issue in a real way with real dialogue.
November 6, 2009 at 5:22 pm
The only thing I am advocating is fairness in reference to the Oprah situation. If she takes a stand against domestic violence in the Brown case she should take a similar stance in the Winans case. No where do I say that women are never the perpretators. The facts in the Winans case are unfolding and he is innocent until proven guilty, but there was an arrest and an allegation and that is why Winfrey did the right thing. So please read some of my posts and you will see I do not advocate man bashing I advocate fairness to all.
November 7, 2009 at 12:10 am
While I completely agree that fairness is crutial, there is one more element that needs to be mentioned. When a man or woman is accused of abuse, the vast majority of people feel that there MUST be some truth to the story and that he MUST be guilty of something. Even if it’s later proven that he is NOT guilty he wears the label of abuser…because he was accused of ALLEGEDLY abusing someone. I’ve seen too many lives ruined on false accusations by angry ex-partners looking for revenge. Many wind up relocating to try to start over in a place where nobody knows they were ACCUSED but innocent or just losing everything they had worked hard to accomplish. That is where the true unfairness can be found and it’s painful. I’m certainly not saying that all abusers are really innocent, but for those who are, where is the fairness? They seldom, if ever get an apology, and if so not publicly. They seldom get their lives back. Who rushes to their side to help them rebuild and regain what was lost by no fault of their own? Just sayin…
November 6, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Thank you for your response. I agree she should be fair to both incidents.
November 6, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Just because someone has their spouse arrested doesn’t mean that that they are guilt. The public needs to understand that and stay out of other people’s businness.
November 6, 2009 at 8:22 pm
As far as I know people are innocent until proven guilty! Who the hell do you think you are?! There are two sides to every story and you are NOT judge and jury! And I agree with Keisha…….
November 6, 2009 at 8:37 pm
I don’t think my post established me a the judge and jury of anything. Yes Winans is innocent until proven guilty, but with domestic violence charges pending Winfrey had no choice but to remove him from her show. I state my opinion and people are free to agree or disagree. This is a forum for civil discussion pure and simple. If that’s what you like to do you are welcome.
November 6, 2009 at 9:29 pm
As a Baltimore resident or native, what are you doing about domestic violence in your city? The average age of a pregnant female is 12 and a strong 56% can be attributed directly with some sort of domestic violence. Also of note is the fact that as many as 9 women have been sexually assaulted in the last 7 days. What do you have to say about this.
I am blow away by ambiguous self-promoters who are ineffective in their communities. Get off your tail, stop watching Ophra, and go help somebody who needs it. Why don’t you tell her to build a prestigious school for girls in Baltimore instead of the failure she did in Africa? Since you have her ear, perhaps she’ll spend a few dollars in the city where she got started.
November 6, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Alfonza, you make alot of statements not based on fact. You do not know me so don’t say what I am doing or not doing. You are entitled to your opinion but you are not entitled to your facts.
November 6, 2009 at 10:52 pm
The initial post is about equal treatment under equal circumstances. Both men were arrested for domestic violence. One just happens to be a personal friend of Oprah. It’s not about judge/jury, self-promotion or other things you’ve suggested. You all are missing the point. Again, it’s about equal treatment!!!
November 7, 2009 at 5:28 pm
I read that BeBe quit his job on Sunday Best to do Oprah’s show. So because of you not knowing the facts and incriminating him before he has been proven guilty, you have taken food (money) out of his family’s mouth.
November 7, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Give me a break. Bebe will be fine and I did not take food out of his family’s mouth.
November 9, 2009 at 12:10 am
There is a difference in these situations. Specifically, the public had photographic proof that Rhianna was abused. All we know is that BeBe’s wife accused him of pushing her down. Being arrested/detained is not proof that abuse occurred because people can be arrested without having done anything wrong. Vendettas, anger, revenge, malice are common in divorce. And most of the time some people will simply just lie to get the upper hand. I think you are acting as judge and jury against BeBe. I think you were predisposed against him for some reason? Do you have any personal connection to this case? Are you related to the alleged victim?
p.s. Where were you when R Kelly was arrested and charged for abusing a child? Did you attempt to take his livelihood too?
November 9, 2009 at 1:33 am
I would like to start by saying all violence is wrong on any level. I’ve found that before we start accusing we should make sure that we have all the facts. Just because BeBe’s ex wife has filed charges against him does not mean that this is how the occurance happened. I would never put my hands on my wife, but through rough arguments during the first year of our marriage she would get angry in conversation and push me and the only way I could get away was to move her out. Even though I did it calmly, she could have said that I abused her. She didn’t because she knew I was trying to get away. Even though we don’t have those type situations anymore we often time talk about it, and she always say, you were trying to get away from me but all I had to say was you pushed me and they would have taken my word and ran with it. So let us allow the system to do its work before we become the figure of justice. Growing up in my grandparents home I witnessed my grandmother beat on my grandfather many many times without him ever raising a hand back at her. We all saw this, but no one ever said she abused him. Because he was a man and she was a women the over all attitude was he better not ever hit her back, or he deserved it. I’ve always wondered why. My wife always say that a women should not put herself in a terrible position that would warrant a man to come at her in that manner, and like a man should not either. I think the standard will always be doubled. How do we get to a median?
November 9, 2009 at 2:01 am
May I offer some thoughts for the henchmen or women as it may be… Chris Brown was an abused child who grew up and now is found he has a violence problem. Most of this was not a surprise to us and I believe less so to Rhianna. They were first and foremost too young and ill equipped to be in such intense lives and relationships and if you know someone has a problem, you don’t instigate their symptoms especially when you say you love them. Is domestic violence wrong? ABSOLUTELY YES! Does that mean I have the right to act irresponsponsibly with my life and when what is so foreseeable happens cry like a banshee about how horrible someone else is? I could more honestly scream to the mountain top how much I loathe and disrespect myself; how stupid or masochistic I am. Further with the case of BeBe, I again have no first hand account to offer, but I can tell you that people are making a living from pushing people’s very tender emotional buttons these days. I mean really, how much would it take for me to get you to hit me? Okay, maybe just a shove to get me out of your face from saying things you thought wouldn’t bother you but they do and I won’t stop. I escalate, I am pressing and pressing and then go for the gut including the someone near and dear in your life – your kids. How long could I get away with this before you were overcome by the desire to do something physical? Would you be less dogged about hanging him if he’d have thrown a rock through the car window? unlikely what have you done? I bet I don’t get any honest answers on this one, but that won’t stop you from looking in the mirror. We need to start taking responsibiity for our interactions with people, we have to stop making the loudest voice the victim and realize that very little in this world takes place by the power of one; and every thing seems really cut and dry when you are not involved… There are SO many cases I could quote about the misuse of perceptions to boost the position of an abusing party, while the victim gets further victimized by the media and the public. Be very careful about being so sure of yourselves, this kind of ploy is likely coming to a relationship close to you. Stay tuned.